White Rabbit by Caleb Roehrig

I received an ARC of this book from edelweiss in exchange for a honest review.

4/5 STARS

This book was a trip. I enjoyed it quite a bit. Rufus and Sebastian are totally likeable and I was rooting for both of them the whole time. 

I kept going back and forth on who I thought was the killer. I kept thinking there would be a super unforeseen twist where it was someone we totally didn’t expect. I was even starting to get suspicious of Sebastian at one point even though there was literally no way he could have done it. There wasn’t the big twist I was expecting, but it was still done well and I didn’t have pegged down who it was so it was still a little of a surprise. 

This book was very well written and very addictive. I love Sebastian and Rufus together and want an entire book of them two being able to be happy together. The last chapter did a good job of giving us a glimpse into that life.

All of This Is True by Lygia Day Penaflor

3.5 out of 5 stars

I received an advanced copy of this book from Epic Reads in exchange for an honest review. 

This book was good, I'm just not sure it was for me. It was written well and the format was interesting. It is mostly told in the form of interviews, but has some journal entries, emails, texts, and book excerpts throughout. 

Jonah is the new guy at a very prestigious private school. He just wants to be left alone and blend in, but he catches the attention of Soleil. Soleil is rich, popular, and very pretty. After a lot of hesitation, he gives in a becomes friends in Soleil, and as a result, her two best friends Miri and Penny. 

The girls are obsessed with a young author's book. The author of the book, Fatima Ro, has a book signing in their town and they drag Jonah with them. When they meet Fatima they are determined to make a memorable impression. To their surprise, it works. They all become really close friends with Fatima and they cannot believe it!!

Fatima preaches about genuine human connections. She wants her friends to be inside/out with her and she claims to be inside/out with them. 

The book is told from real life and the book Fatima writes after meeting the teens. So you get bits and pieces of the story from the actual people involved, and the based on real events book. 

The book begins with the girls individually giving interviews to the same reporter. We gather that something drastic has happened to Jonah as a result of Fatima's book, which is based off the "precious truths" she was given from the teens. Miri thinks that Fatima had every write to write the book and publish it without their permissions, while the other two girls think they were betrayed. On top of all that Fatima is no where to be found. None of the teens are able to get ahold of her and Jonah is in a coma from getting jumped and beaten. 

Throughout the whole book you can see that Fatima is just using the teens to get a good story. She constantly pushes them to do things just to see what will happen. She is always asking for information from them that they don't want to freely give at first. Of course they end up giving her the information and doing what she says because she is their idol. She seems mature and like she has life figured out. You catch glimpses from small scenes that she really doesn't. There is a scene with her dad that makes you think that maybe she is actually struggling and is pretending to have everything all together.

I felt like it was a little difficult to connect with the characters. I liked them for the most part, but I didn't feel connected to any of them. Like I was sad about Jonah's situation, but otherwise I didn't really care. I didn't feel like any of the characters had much depth or development. Like they were there just to tell the story. 

I also felt that the story ended abruptly. Like there is a clear ending, but nothing was resolved? There weren't any surprises. You pretty much knew what was going on the whole time, nothing really surprised me. Jonah's end was kind of abrupt too. But I think that was more because of the lack of connection. 

Like I said, the book isn't bad. It's actually written well. I just don't think it's my kind of story. 

Goodbye Days by Jeff Zentner

5/5 STARS

This book was difficult for me to read. I actually put off reading this book for a long time because I was unsure of how it would affect me. 

I haven’t lost anyone in a car accident or been the cause of someone’s death, but I have dealt with grief that was strong and still affects me to this day. I still struggle with panic attacks related to the loss. I felt like I understood most of what Carver was going through. I felt an emotional connection with him because I had felt what he had. 

Carver sent the text that killed his three best friends. Now he is left with no friends, a mountain of guilt, and a bottomless pit of grief. On top of all that, there might be a criminal charge brought against him for the death of his 3 best friends. Blake’s grandma doesn’t blame Carver. Eli’s mom doesn’t blame Carver but Eli’s dad does. Mars’s dad definitely blames Carver, and is pushing for charges against him. 

Carver starts by spending time with Blake’s grandma, Nana Betsy. During their time together Nana Betsy suggest a goodbye day, where they spend a day doing things that Blake and her would and trading stories. Carver does this and doesn’t feel any less guilty or have any less grief, but he feels more like he has properly said goodbye and is a little more at peace. 

He tells Eli’s girlfriend, Jezmen, who he has become friends with during this time, about the day he had and she suggest having one with Eli’s parents. So they do. It doesn’t go as well as Blake’s did because Eli’s dad does blame him.

Then Mars’s dad demands a goodbye day too. This one is rough. Mars’s dad has dropped the investigation, but still blames Carver. Mars’s dad using this time to, in my opinion, abuse Carver emotionally, physically, and mentally. At the end Carver tries to tell Mars’s dad about the true Mars, but he doesn’t want to hear it. Later the two come to an understanding when Mars’s dad takes a look at his art work. They understand that they don’t really like each other and Mars’s dad still thinks he’s guilty, but they won’t have any more animosity towards each other. 

I liked how therapy wasn’t totally seen as a bad thing in this book. Sure, Carver didn’t really want to go because he didn’t want to talk about what happened. But the Dr was written well and Carver does respect him. I think therapy has a bad stigma, but it can be very helpful to most people. The panic attacks were written very well and realistic. 

I didn’t like how Carver was treated by some of the characters. I feel like they were placing a lot of blame on him without taking into account Mars texting him while driving and other stuff. Where Carver was wrong, I don’t feel like I would have crucified him the way some of the characters did if I was in their situations. It is hard to know, not having gone through it myself. But Carver was a 17 year old boy who lost his 3 best friends and is struggling with guilt, grief, anxiety and panic attacks and some of the characters just don’t care. They seem like they don’t think of him as a person and that he did it on purpose. I was especially upset about the church scene because it is so common for Christians to choose scripture that fits their current situation, but ignore the rest. Instead of talking about forgiveness and love, Mars’s dad pretty much preaches that Carver will get what’s coming to him and is probably going to hell for his role in the accident. The scene was written well and I’m not saying it was bad in any way. It just struck a nerve with me because of how realistic it was. 

But this book was great. It deals with a lot of heavy topics that need to be talked about. I love all of Jeff Zentner’s books that I’ve read. He does an amazing job approaching the hard topics.

I listened to the audiobook. The narrator did an amazing job. I was super impressed. He conveyed emotion extremely well. I caught myself tearing up at parts mainly because of the emotion in his voice!

I Felt A Funeral, In My Brain by Will Walton

I received an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review.

3.5/5 STARS

I challenged myself to read this book because it is National Poetry Month. I don’t generally like poetry so I knew this would be a tough read for me. I have a hard time understanding poetry. I kinda just want things spelled out for me.

I really enjoyed the story. Only because poetry isn’t my thing, I wish I could have gotten more detail about characters and events. It’s not like the story was lacking in any way, I’m just used to more detailed writing. I really liked Luca, but we didn’t get a ton of him which made me a little sad.

The format was interesting and different from anything I read. It jumped time back and forth a lot and that took a bit for me to adjust to on top of adjusting to the poetry.

I’m glad I challenged myself to read this. It was good. And I feel like I have a better appreciation for poetry and might try some more here and there, but it’s just really not my thing.

I’m not sure I quite understood the ending. But that’s okay. I think I’ll come back to it and try to get a better handle on understanding the poetry.

Running With Lions by Julian Winters

I received and ARC from netgalley in exchange for an honest review. 

4.5/5 STARS

This book was adorable! Sebastian is such a great main character! I loved him so much. Willie was so lovable and I want to be his best friend. Mason was a jerk, but was a good guy who just needed a small push. Amir was so precious. I loved them all.

Sebastian is trying to figure out and deal with a lot of stuff in his life. He is bisexual, but is only out to a few people. He was bullied as a kid and has some self esteem and body image issues. He doubts his leadership skills and soccer skills. He has no idea what he wants to do after his senior year is over. Soccer and his friends are all he has, and after the year is over he will be losing both in different ways. To top everything off, his former best friend who now hates him shows up at soccer camp.

Amir struggles to fit in. He is painfully shy and comes off as an asshole as a result. He is a Muslim and get shit for it. He gets nasty comments about his race. And he’s gay. He joins the soccer team to make his dad happy, but isn’t any good.

Sebastian takes on training Amir after practices to help him improve despite Amir’s protests. They grow closer during this time and their past comes to surface. They find themselves growing closer and closer, their friendship turning into something more.

I really like that this book addresses a lot of issues that teens deal with on a regular basis. One of my favorite scenes is where Sebastian is struggling with his body image and Amir tells him that everyone is imperfect and it’s okay. I was glad when Sebastian got professional help at the end of the book to address some of his insecurities and it was a good thing. Sometimes books make therapy out to be bad when it is extremely helpful.

I love how open this book was about racism and homophobia and anxiety and self insecurity. It’s important for people to read about things they are dealing with and see them in characters. And to see them handled in such a great way.

Plus, it was just such a cute book! I had a big, cheesy smile plastered across my face for most of it. And who doesn’t love the best friends to enemies to lovers angle?